The glittery pornographic side of AWB was showing a stunning resurgence

The glittery pornographic side of AWB was showing a stunning resurgence

The resurgence of Aaron Wan-Bissaka has been one of the most compelling storylines of Manchester United’s season.

Signed from Crystal Palace in the summer of 2019 for the princely sum of £50m, Wan-Bissaka has struggled to convince United fans of his merits as a modern full-back.

While his defensiveness has never been questioned — no fielder in the country likes to deal with the 25-year-old’s tarantula legs and adhesive markings — watching Wan-Bissaka’s contribution to the attacks was more painful than a regular colonoscopy.

But, in a development hailed by scores of raised eyebrows, there has been an improvement along these lines; few will forget his George Best dribbling in the derby win against Manchester City in January.

And Wan-Bissaka chose the National Stadium setting and a tight and tense FA Cup semi-final against Brighton to demonstrate his transformation into the millennial Stanley Matthews.

The match stalled as the United full-back received possession just inside Brighton’s half and chose to act as a laxative for the nervous opposition defence.

Shifting the ball to his right foot, Wan-Bissaka held off Alexis Mac Allister in a show of strength that made Popeye look like a stiff-limbed Warhammer aficionado before a burst of pace left Pervis Estupinan choked on a powder sandwich.

But Estupinan’s ordeal was far from over. After foolishly returning to dispossess the United defender, the Ecuador international found himself tricked by a rarely seen magic show outside Severus Snape’s classroom.

Wan-Bissaka tied his opponent in knots with a series of absurd passes before executing a strictly game-winning side-shuffle to escape his opponent’s attention.

His cut found Antony, whose subsequent attempt to box Casemiro resulted in a delightful scrum that would not have looked out of place on Hackney Marshes. It was also in direct contrast to the majesty of Wan-Bissaka’s creativity and poise.

Wan-Bissaka has been the subject of much transfer speculation this season, with rumors circulating that Erik ten Hag will be looking to sign a right-back this summer and drop the former Crystal Palace man.

“It was my intention to stay but during that time (outside the team) my focus was just to play, everyone loves to play and that makes me happy,” Wan-Bissaka told The Telegraph of the continued speculation about his future in United.

“During that time I would do anything to play again. I’m happy here, I’ve been happy since I arrived and that’s what I’ve worked for and continue to work for.”

All of Wan-Bissaka’s starts in the 2022-23 season have come after the World Cup break, and he has said of United’s bid to end the season with more trophies and Champions League qualification to their name.

“That was our goal, to finish in the top four, and that is our goal. We had some injuries which weren’t good news for us, but at the same time there’s nothing we can do. The best thing we can do is stick together and go as far as possible.”

With United limped through to the end of the season, with Champions League qualification and City in the Cup final, Wan-Bissaka will hope to fit into Erik ten Hag’s plans for next season.

It won’t hurt his chances if he continues to produce R-rated crap that delighted our senses on Sunday.

By Michael Lee

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